Look at my Junk!

So I picked up some "gay" underwear, and I love it. It seems to me that gay men have it right when it comes to their bodies. More than us straight guys, they seem to celebrate their bods and show them off. They do what straight women do all the time: flaunt it, work it, etc. I guess the common denominator is that both gay men and straight women want to attract the attention of men, who tend to be highly visual.

I sure as hell don't look like the catalog models in my "power pouch" jock, but I still love the way it pushes my junk out, displaying an "aggressive profile" in the words of the ad copy. To say it plainly, when I put it on, I feel sexy. I realize how queer that sounds and I don't care.

I understand men have little to bitch about in this world, but it nevertheless bugs me that were I to share my enjoyment of sexy underwear with friends and co-workers, I would be laughed at and villified. They would suggest that I should audition for the next season of "Tool Academy" and they would be right. Men who want to show off had better be gay. Otherwise, they're branded perverts, freaks, and laughably delusional.

I blame this state of affairs on women. More on that later.