I'm gonna hurt myself or someone else

I'm sitting at Hooters dying a bit over the hotness of these fucking women. I want them SO bad. (BTW, JAIME is fucking FINE, and I also had INA, KRISTA (former student), FELICIA, and KELLY sign my napkin), As I sit, I'm reflecting on last night. I have a severe problem with impulse control.

Yesterday I decided I couldn't afford to stop off at some TnA place for a beer so I poured myself a couple of stiff drinks from the bottle stashed in my back seat. Well I poured a LOT; like at least 8 oz. of Wild Turkey.

Wife totally busted me on it even before I got home. I was slurring that bad on the phone. What really sucks is that this has become a fairly frequent thing. I really struggle to just have a couple of drinks. I want to blot shit out. I want to push the buzz way too far.

So blah blah blah I got FUCKED up and did the following:
1. Bought more gay underwear and had a really long conversation with the owner of the store. I don't know what the fuck I said to this guy and I am thinking I shouldn't go back there.
2. I fucking drunk dialed a former student of mine from the local CC. Relax, bitches, she is like 48 and has a kid in his 30s, so I am in no way a creepy pedophile. (I'm just creepy)

I had a weird little relationship with this woman when she was my student. She was quite a sight on the first day in August: fuck-me pumps, really short denim min, super-tight, low-cut top with her really big tits ready to bust out. Kind of a "butter face," but given the rest of the package, I was VERY impressed.

So we flirted a LOT in and out of class and this relationship seemed to have all the makings of a porn film or Penthouse letter. But alas, we never totally went for it. We had one very hot night in a local club (I'll blog about that some other time--it was HOT), but nothing really went down. So I wish I remember what the fuck I said when I drunk dialed her, but I don't. I do remember (I think) that she was pretty frosty in response to my drunken phone call. I thought she was a kind of Ace in the hole--my first official Booty Call--but I guess not. Fuck.

Guess What? I'm at the Bar Dying for Sex!

So I'm at a bikini bar and my server has been a colossal disappointment. I've tried to hold up my end of things, but she's just been an inattentive bitch. Yet I keep trying to get her attention.

God these women are so hot. It kills me. I'd take any one of the servers here and do her right on the table.

BBW: fat chicks=size queens

OK, so i'm rarely attracted to fat chicks. this sucks because they seem to be the most sexual women out there. problem is, they are invariably size queens, BDSM chicks, and/or BBC freaks. So here are the reasons I imagine you BBW's are the way you are:

1. You are humiliated by the fact that you're fat, so you want to humiliate guys back by attacking their penis size. So you can essentially say, "I'm fat, but you're cock is small compared to black guys, so we're both inadequate."
2. You attract black dudes who are SO into big booties that they will fuck you, especially since you provide an opportunity to fuck a white chick with no strings attached. He gets to take something from whitey, and you get validation and revenge on all the white dudes who passed you by.
3. In simple physiological terms, you need a huge cock to penetrate you. Your obesity requires a man to be able to push past several inches of fat to enter your vagina.

fuck!

i just want to get fucked. I'm SOOOOOOO fucking horny! wife will fuck from time to time, and it's really hot a lot of the time. but not enough. i want to fuck lots of women, especially young, hot women.

so what am i to do?

and if you say, " well what about your SO, what if she wants to fuck lots of guys and isn't satisfied with you?"

Well, you got a point. I don't know what to say about that, because honestly, I am a total hypocrite about this. I want to fuck lots of different women. And I want her to fuck only me. Or no one. The worst thing in the world to me is the idea of her fucking a guy with a huge cock, with whom I can't compete. So there you have it.

Look at my Junk!

So I picked up some "gay" underwear, and I love it. It seems to me that gay men have it right when it comes to their bodies. More than us straight guys, they seem to celebrate their bods and show them off. They do what straight women do all the time: flaunt it, work it, etc. I guess the common denominator is that both gay men and straight women want to attract the attention of men, who tend to be highly visual.

I sure as hell don't look like the catalog models in my "power pouch" jock, but I still love the way it pushes my junk out, displaying an "aggressive profile" in the words of the ad copy. To say it plainly, when I put it on, I feel sexy. I realize how queer that sounds and I don't care.

I understand men have little to bitch about in this world, but it nevertheless bugs me that were I to share my enjoyment of sexy underwear with friends and co-workers, I would be laughed at and villified. They would suggest that I should audition for the next season of "Tool Academy" and they would be right. Men who want to show off had better be gay. Otherwise, they're branded perverts, freaks, and laughably delusional.

I blame this state of affairs on women. More on that later.

Look at my Poll

Banged Another Whore

So I finally got my payment for writing a couple of community college essays for a really hot young escort I met on a local board. I was dead tired but we made it work. Threw down some V and fought the traffic all the way there. She looked so fucking good--black bra under a white beater and a sexy pair of briefs. She's only 21 and has a killer hourglass bod. She's really short with HUGE tits, a relatively small waist, and big round hips/ass. My ideal (or one of them).

She was much worse at sucking cock than I remember from last time, but the fucking was outstanding. I got her bouncing up and down on me and it was sensational. When I finally came it was almost a disappointment b/c I knew I wouldn't be fucking her for a long time--she's pretty expensive and I only got to bang her twice b/c she owed me for my writing. I wish I had a ton of money--I'd be fucking three times a week, easy. Different one each time. As long as I live, I'll never get enough. I just want to fuck more and different girls forever.

Drive-In Sex

Fantasy fulfilled, and the experience lived up to it pretty well. I wasn't surprised that this place was a moderately decayed relic of the 1950s--what's the possible motivation to update a drive-in? Thought there might be a few sexy hipsters and retro lovers mixed in with the poor, unwashed, un-ironic masses packed into the decrepit heaps surrounding our minivan.

She was into it from the start, although she insisted on watching the movie so the "start" wasn't until the second feature began.

Gotta run. . . finish later.

Blowjob in the VIP

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Hooters 2007 Bikini PC contest (176)

Hooters 2007 Bikini PC contest (176), originally uploaded by Christopher Holder Photography.

This style of dress/top makes me so fucking hot. Drape, cowl, whatever you call it! I've rarely seen one in public first hand, and that makes me sad.